BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CREATE YOUR OWN SUNSHINE
Ok I know that the 50 Shades of Grey hype is over but I am still reading the third book and I have to say that I am struggling to finish it. I started reading 50 Shades Freed 4 months ago whilst on vacation and still cannot reach the final chapters. I hate to admit it but I am irritated by the heroin Ana, her random dramatic moments and nattering about her sub-conscious and inner goddess, which, actually have lives of their own. Her sub-conscious even has ‘her’ own collection of fabulous eyeglasses which she wears depending on the context of Ana’s actions for crying out loud! As I reach the end of the third book, I reach the end of my tether. I am well aware that I would not be able write novels such as 50 shades myself, but below are examples that make me want to yell obscenities and throw the book against the wall.
Ana: “I had no idea that giving pleasure could be such a turn-on, watching him writhe with subtle carnal longing. My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”
Ana: “That’s the bottom line. I want to be with him. My inner goddess sighs with relief. I reach the conclusion that she rarely uses her brain to think but with another vital part of her anatomy, and at the moment , it’s a rather exposed part”.
Ana: “My subconscious looks on with approval, her normally pursed mouth smiling, and I am the supreme puppet master.”
Say what? To quote Ana herself, since she says it all the time ‘OH MY’!!
Now I am not going to start bashing the books as I think there is enough negative and positive critique out there. I personally believe that this trilogy has great aspects of entertainment. It is fresh, naughty, erotic, open and cheeky and whether you love or hate it, it has certainly caused a stir. Unfortunately by the time I reached the third book I had read more than enough about lip biting, blushing, flushing, the ‘Oh mys!’, the ‘Oh craps’, the crying and Christian’s pants hanging off his hips ‘in that way’. Argh! Ana!
Whilst I was reading the first book, one of my favorite bloggers red lemonade started reading it too and decided to share her thoughts about it. . The review is under a series called 50 Shades of Tedious Fu***ry. To quote red lemonade ‘I read the book so you don’t have to! – It’s awful’. I was in fits of laughter as I read through the her posts but I unfortunately admit that I was unable to read the rest of the trilogy without getting extremely irritated at the annoying repetitions and nuances that had already been ridiculed in the review of the first book. For those who have read and enjoyed the books already, this ‘Fifty Shades of Tedious F*****y’ series is one of red lemonade’s most popular angry blog posts and is really worth checking out if you fancy a giggle. It was even nominated for ‘Best Blog Post’ by the Irish Blog Awards. I think Katrina Lumsden’s amusing review of the books is the more popular but I personally think red lemonade gives a better review when it comes to the sheer hilarity of it all. You can associate yourself so well with her frustrations as you read along, that you end up laughing out loud without realising it.
Here is a good example of a wee snippet from Volume 12 of the Fifty Shades of F****ry series:-
Even funnier; here is a comment from one of her readers:-
“I love your posts! I haven’t read the book, don’t know if I can, these [..posts..] make me want to punch Ana square in her inner goddess! And the author too for being so bloody clueless about women, and his poor partner if he even has one!”
Hilarious! It makes me appreciate other erotic reads out there such as ‘The Story of O’ which was nowhere near as popular in its slightly more prudish heyday. I hope you enjoy reading ’50 Shades of Tedious Fuc***y’. Before you do so find a nice comfortable couch and get the kettle on for a cup of tea and biscuits, for you will be hooked.
(Be warned; the language can get a little R-rated!)